2life 2.

How fast can two years go by? You wanna know? Look at where I was two years ago, right now, and fast forward. Crazy, right?

The new Drew turned two today, and it’s insanely hard for me to believe that. Looking back at where I was compared to where I am now, it really is like a second life. I was never on any crazy downward spiral, but I wasn’t going up in any way either. It was more of a downward roll I guess, gradual and set to end badly eventually, but all that changed.

Something or someone was looking out for me that night. Thinking about what went down, along with seeing how things have panned out since then, I have no doubt about that, and it’s been a ride. Through all of that, I really feel like I’m here for a reason. The question is, have I already accomplished what I’m supposed to have done since then, or is it still on my horizon? Could it be both? Have I done something I wouldn’t have done if I hadn’t gone through everything then? Yeah…I know that part is true, on a lot of levels, and I like to think that the answer is both. Most of what, if not everything I do from here on out will reflect back to that moment of starting over and waking up with a new outlook on how to live.

Rebuilding isn’t and hasn’t been an easy task. Look at sports teams going through rough seasons. Coaches call these “rebuilding years”, and fans groan at the term. When something breaks or shatters, it can be put back together, but it won’t ever be exactly the same as it was before. It’s there, but the pieces won’t line up the same way.

The last two years have been a continuous rebuilding process for me. Oh, I’m here. I’m together. But I’m not the same. In this rebuilding I’ve gone through the usual ups and downs of life, and honestly, I’m still searching for that perfect balance. It’s there, but sometimes it’s hard to see. I can definitely see it better now than I could before.

In the two years I’m talking about, I’ve gone from having a constant back-burner burden on my shoulders to being scared of letting something control me to having that burden disappear to fighting the pull of the old temptations and resisting the old me to the best of my abilities. I’ve also accomplished more in this time than I really had in the three years before everything happened. I got my life together for the most part, I finished school, I have a DEGREE, and I’m looking forward to whatever I’ll get into in the coming months and years.

I wrote this quote two years ago today, and I wanted to bring it back up:

“…you never know what can happen tomorrow, and if you're EVER given a second chance at anything, be thankful, and remember that things in life could always be worse…

…Do something for me. Always keep your head up and don't ever leave anything unsettled. If you really think about it, most of what brings you down in life won't even bother you a year from now…”

Reading it again, I feel pretty good about what I said, and how I’ve lived since I wrote it. I’ll never forget how I felt at that moment, but I’ll always be thankful for it. That quote still stands out for me today, and it’s how I want to live and think the rest of my life.

Here’s another one I’ve shared before that I wanted to throw out there again:

“Simple happiness is at a premium…and I can’t think of anything more valuable I want to own right now…” - JM

This can’t be more true, and even with the way things in this world are going in these times, I feel like it is something I own today. I still don’t know what I’m going to do with my life in the long-term, but I know that right here and right now, I’m happy. With everything I’ve learned in the last two years, that’s all that matters.

Remember that the life behind you is done. It’ll make you who you are today for the better and for the worse, but it’s DONE. I’m not saying to forget about the past, because it’s crazy important to think about how you’ve become who you are now. What I’m saying is to take what you’ve got today and run with it. Use the things you’ve gone through in the past to make yourself who you want to be and who you know you CAN be, because once you do this, I PROMISE that everything in life will be a little bit sweeter.

You can hold me to that.

Drew.

Kay Yow.

NC State lost a great one yesterday with the passing of Coach Kay Yow.

I never really followed the women's basketball team growing up, but Yow was always a prominent figure for the Wolfpack nation and I could tell what she meant to the university. The first time I really remember seeing her as a coach was when she lead the team to the 1998 Final Four. The men's team hadn't been to the tournament since I'd been old enough to care about basketball at this point, so it was awesome getting to see the Pack do well on a national level in this way.

I learned more about Yow as I got older, and really felt how much of an inspiration she was when I became a student at NC State. Her face was present throughout the school, and the story of her constant battle with breast cancer was well-known to all. This battle never brought her spirits down, and she was always a presence on the court, as well as a strong activist for the Jimmy V Foundation to raise awareness and find a cure for cancer.

Kay Yow was a great basketball coach but an even better hero. While battling cancer, she became the example of how we should embrace life no matter what cards we are dealt. Her efforts on the court were strong (700+ wins), but her support to cancer research and the Jimmy V Foundation off the court was even stronger. Her legacy will be remembered through the game and through future advances in cancer medicine and treatment, and she'll always be a reminder to never, never give up.

Thanks for everything, Coach Yow.

Resume Action.

Just finished the first hard-copy draft of my resume. Writing it really wasn't so bad. It's kind of like when you go to the doctor, and you KNOW you've gotta get a shot, and the anticipation of getting it SUCKS, but once it's done, you're left sitting with a cartoon band-aid and asking the question "That was it?".

Doing this has literally been a stupid invisible burden on my shoulders the last few months, and it feels good to have something in writing. It's not pretty yet. There are no bullets or fancy lines to divide the sections up, but it's DONE. Now all I've gotta do is clean it up.

And send it out.

Nothing else to report for now. Keep your fingers crossed for me and the economy, and we'll see what happens. You know I'll keep you posted.

In the meantime, watch this to keep yourself busy:


D.

Woke up laughing.

Had a good conversation about dreams the other night. One thing I realized during the talk was how great it is to wake up laughing. Have you had dreams like that before?

Most of mine come from dreams about friends and family, and places I've spent time at in the past. I've definitely had a handful in which I woke up laughing thinking I was at Quaker Lake, or at Frontier. These dreams are always fun to have, but bittersweet in that after the clarity of thinking they're real wears off, you're kind of sad when you realize it was just a dream.

How about dreams where you wake up and TRY to fall asleep into again? I've done this before, but it's never easy and usually just out of my reach.

I've also had some crazy ones where I actually HEAR the alarm going off in my dream, and wonder what the hell is making such a loud noise. Those are never fun and always offer a rude awakening.

You can analyze dreams all you want, and some will never make sense. These dreams can be fun and they can be scary. They're usually the easiest to forget.

Nightmares suck. I won't even go into them. We all know how they are.

The complete opposite of nightmares, though, comes in the form of dreams where I've had conversations with lost loved ones. It sounds crazy, but I've had a few of these where I actually TALK to my grandfather. The cool thing is that he's the age he was when he died, but I'm whatever age I am at the time of the dream, so it's like he gets to see me as I get older. What's even more amazing is that, everytime I have a dream where I talk to him, I'm going through a stressful period. My last one was about two years ago, and he gave me advice. He told me that things would work out, even if it didn't seem like it at the time. And they DID. I like to think of these dreams as actual conversations with loved ones. It's like they can reach us directly in our sleep when they need to, and it's definitely a comforting feeling. These dreams always make me cry.

I think I'm going to start a dream log soon. It would be fun to look back at down the road, and who knows what kind of writing material I could get from it, right? We'll see how it goes.

Either way, sweet dreams...
DS.

Good Intentions.

The Panthers are back in the playoffs. You know it. I know it. Everybody in the Carolinas knows it.

So when tickets went on sale at 10 a.m. New Year’s Day, we all sat eagerly by our computers in an effort to snag a pair or two for the game in Charlotte. The problem was that only 7,000 seats were allotted to the public in a stadium that holds nearly 74,000 people.

With so many fans trying to get hold of the limited number of tickets, it’s a wonder that anyone got through to buy them. While the lucky ones started 2009 off with a smile and playoff seats, the less-fortunate rolled over and went back to bed or back to work crossing their fingers for another chance. Others kept trying.

One of these others was my cousin, Chandler, and I want you to take a moment to look at this situation from his shoes.

Imagine you’re a 15-year-old kid who loves the Panthers more than DeAngelo Williams loves the end zone. You know every player’s name, and you call the plays better than the offensive coordinator.

You’re not sick with anything, and you haven’t lost anyone, but you’re dealing with an issue that gets overlooked in today’s times. Your parents are getting divorced, and you’re caught in the middle. While your home life is in turmoil, your love for sports is your only escape.

Now let that sink in for a minute.

As the Panthers turned heads throughout the season, Chandler saved money in hopes that they would make the playoffs and host a game in Charlotte. When they beat the Saints on Dec. 28, he called me and told me that he had saved $350. He wanted to take his brother, a friend, and me to the game.

Now, $350 is a lot of money, but to a 15-year-old, it’s a pot of gold. I was honored that he would think of me.

When the time came to buy the tickets, I rolled out of bed and gave it a shot in case he couldn’t get them. Like the majority of people who tried, I couldn’t get any, so I stopped after 30 minutes.

But Chandler didn’t give up. He used one hand to refresh the website and the other to call the ticket office. After an hour and a half of trying, he got through.

The tickets were sold out.

Instead of sulking, Chandler’s determination and skills with Google lead him to a third-party ticket website. He clicked the link and saw four tickets available for $350. It was perfect.

Using his father’s credit card, he submitted the order and waited. When the confirmation came through, it showed the bill. $1,400 had been charged to the card. The tickets weren’t four for $350, but $350 each.

Step into his shoes one more time and imagine the roller-coaster of emotions he felt in thinking that he wouldn’t be able to find tickets to the excitement of finding them, only to be crushed by the realization of a simple mistake.

He called me that afternoon to tell me his story, and my heart broke for him. In an attempt to do something completely unselfish, Chandler fell victim to the selfish gain of a faceless scalper. He would have to sell the tickets at face-value in an effort to gain some money back.

While he was slightly shaken-up, he was more disappointed that he couldn’t take the rest of us to the game. In the week after Christmas when everyone is over the idea of giving for a while, Chandler became the epitome of how we should live everyday: for others.

His example of giving simple love in the face of the obstacle of issues at home made me realize that the little problems that can bring you down in life aren’t really worth worrying about. Most of what bothers you today probably won’t be a big deal less than a month from now.

No one knows what will happen for sure, but I have a feeling that if the Panthers play with even a quarter of the heart that Chandler showed last week that most of us in the Carolinas will be happy Sunday morning.

Wherever Chandler watches the game Saturday night, the Panthers will play the Cardinals at Bank of America Stadium in front of 74,000 people. We know this. Whatever happens, life goes on.

But as we focus on the game, and as Chandler makes his four-quarter escape, think about taking his spirit into 2009. Make it last all year, because 2010 and next football season’s ticket sales are right around the corner.

DS.

Happy 2009.

2009? What?!? I'm sure you're just as amazed as I am that it's already here, right? And I really wanna talk about it, but I don't want to leave '08 hanging in the wind without giving it some credit first.

Before I get started on this, I want to explain how I'm going to review the previous year. I saw "Marley and Me" the other night, and it was great. I laughed throughout the whole movie, and of course, cried my eyes out at the end. I think the crying part is pretty much a given, no matter who you are, because it's a movie about a dog. That's just how it is. Kill a hundred humans in a movie and leave with the need for some visine. Have one dog die and give me a box of Kleenex. Please.

Anyway, the movie was great, and the main character/author of the book that inspired the movie was a columnist for the Miami Sun-Sentinel. Watching the film, I realized that that would be one of the coolest jobs, because he gets paid to write about pretty much anything he wants to write. There was about a five minute montage at one point in which he just quick-narrated all of the things he was writing about in his column, which included places he went, things with his family, and of course, Marley. He went over a few years pretty rapid-fire, but still managed to give all the imnportant highlights. So, in honor of that scene in "Marley and Me" (I'm telling you, take some Kleenex with you when you go) and for 2008, here's my typed out montage of the previous year. Here we go:

January came, I thought "Wow, 2008?". Said goodbye to my sister for a while. Brought it in with my cousin. Lit up the back porch. Started my last semester. Three lit classes, screenwriting, French? Wasn't excited. Ended up loving it. Came home a few times. Drove past Raleigh to the beach on a whim by myself after listening to "Why Georgia". Sat by the waves and under the stars for an hour. Had the one-year anniversary of my second chance. February was a short month but a day longer. Got a new tat, but no one really knew. Leap day was great. Did my own thing. March started with spring break at Myrtle. Ate Dodge's. Smoked cigars. Drank Cherry Lemon Sundrop. Spent Easter with my family. Was humbled on March 28, but realized second chances really DO happen. Still missed my sister, but April was already here. School was almost over and I didn't want it to end. Played volleyball when it was warm out. Played some more when it got hot. Finished my screenplay. I'll edit it and submit it one of these days. Sis got home at the end of the month. I picked up the fam at the airport. And then it was May. Had my last final on the first, got a tat on the third, turned 23 on the fifth. My birthday was great. Invited a lotta people out, and a lotta people showed. Even my French teacher. It was awesome. Graduated on the tenth. I couldn't believe it was over. Said goodbye to some people and tried to move on. Had two weeks to chill, then it was back to Colorado. Airport. Nervous. New people. Amazing. Back to Frontier, back to Ropes. Saw some kids from the year before, and 2,000 new ones. Made new friends. Slap, slap, slap, JUMP SPIN. Saw some sunrises. Learned how to BREATHE again. Said goodbye to new friends. Got home. I missed it. I still miss it. Moved out of Raleigh. My room was messy, so it took a while. Went to DC. Kicked it with Alisha and saw Beckham play. Mad hugs. "Where the Light is" came out. Bought it on day one. Went to ATL, year two. The Braves lost to the Astros, but that was normal this year. Drove to the beach in the pouring rain. Chilled at the beach for two weeks with the fam. It was relaxing. I love the ocean. Went to DC in the middle weekend. Saw Mayer for the ninth time with RD, second row. Sick concert, of course. Drove back to the beach 8 hours south. Enjoyed my last week there. Came home, went to Durham. Kicked it with some Frontier kids. Went to Austin for Chamblee's bachelor party. 08-08-08. Gravity. Braces. Sixth Street. Lake Travis. I love the city. Hank Moody is the man. Came home, but I wanted to stay. Saw Mayer for the tenth time. Met him again. Made him LAUGH. Played best man for a weekend. Was truly honored. Felt like one of the family. I miss that couple too. Mayer XI was next in the rain. Best show ever. Gravity, Clarity, Wheel. Went to the mountains with mom and the uncles. Suddenly it was September. Started off on a great note. Asked a girl out. She said yes. I knew September would be good. I was right. Got a job at Sticks and Stones. Thomas got married. Went to Raleigh and it was October. Saw State lose. And again. And again. Saw them win. Went to the fair. The Caldwell/Sumner was great. November flew too, and grandma cooked for Turkey day. I loved the leftovers. Then it was December, and I went to LA. Car broke down at the airport. Made my flight. Saw Mayer XII, met some great Mayer-heads, and caught my first sunset over the ocean. Clarity. Came home, fixed the car, and then it was Christmas. It was great, but it happened too fast. Kind of like 2008. Can't wait to see what's next...

WHEW. So there's my 2008 montage for you guys. If you didn't hear my voice when you read it, go back and read it again, without pausing, rapid-fire. Thanks.

As for 2009, I'm not coming in with any crazy resolutions this time around, but I'm looking forward to whatever happens. If '08 was any indication of how this year will be, I know things will work out how they should. I've definitely got faith on that one.

So from me to you, I hope 2009 turns out to be the best year of your life. Keep trucking, and live it up as you go! Report back to me this time next year to let me know how it was, ok? Better yet, tell me as we go, because I plan on being around in some way, shape, or form. Cheers.

Drew.

PS: Here's "Montage 2008: The Pictures" if you need a little visual aid...