THIS is how I feel tonight.

My head is everywhere tonight. I’m feelin’ Nashville. I’m thinking about L.A. I’m watching Sportscenter. Photoshop and Illustrator are open, and I’ve got a stylus plugged into my USB port ready to draw…but I’m typing in Word knowing that I’ll copy and paste it into my blog when I’m done.

Amanda is to my left and I’ve got a glass of wine to my right and even though I’ve got more work due in the next two weeks than I’ve had in a while, things are GOOD.

My first semester of grad school will be DONE in two weeks, and I’m pretty psyched about that, but I need to light a fire under my brain’s ass to get more onto my assignments. Thanksgiving break was great and much needed, but it was nothing but a TEASE of how things will be when the semester is over. It was the calm before the storm of finals, and the last quarter at the bottom of my pocket at the arcade that’s discovered as the continue screen ticks down to zero.

I learned all of this as an undergrad. Thanksgiving is a breather, but “Drew, you can’t get comfortable yet.” Doesn’t matter. I fell for this trick five times before, and I fell for it again over this past long weekend. My head is bouncing between how much we’ve done this semester and what I’m gonna do after May without focusing on the NOW…which I desperately NEED to pay attention to.

But May is only six months away. In fact, six months from TODAY, I’ll be 11 days removed from graduation. Again. And honestly, I think I was more secure in this position as an undergrad, because, HEY, worse case scenario if I don’t find a job for a while: GO TO GRAD SCHOOL.

But what about after GRAD SCHOOL? Whew. Working on that one, and thinking about places I could see myself when I’m done, job (hopefully), internship (OK), or no job (SHIT!)…

Three years ago, as I had six months left of undergrad, I said, NEW YORK. I had it all planned out. I was gonna go to New York and I was gonna MAKE IT!

Instead, I went to Colorado for a month, met some amazing people, and toured the east coast following Mayer and hangin’ with friends for a few months before I settled into my parents’ house, started dating an amazing girl, and began working at a great restaurant.

School started up again after two years, and now that I’m in the hypothetical “Where do you wanna go?” stage again, the locations have changed a bit, but I’ve narrowed it down to three:

Austin. Nashville. Los Angeles.

I could see myself in any one of the three, and I feel like my vibes would TOTALLY match up with them. Austin and L.A. are hotbeds for my major, and Nashville is just amazing in its own way. I’d be happy in any of these places, and I’d feel like I was at least SHOOTING at my dream job[s] (whatever they are, exactly)…

But bring the daydreaming back to right NOW, and I’ve got finals coming up. And then another semester. Can’t really measure it in time, because it flies and it’s never concrete. Good days soar, bad ones are like swimming through jelly.

So we’ll measure it in METAPHOR. I’ve got two mountains to climb before May. I’m SURE more will pop up between now and then, but the biggest and tallest are FINALS (in the next two weeks) and SPRING SEMESTER. Whatever else comes up will seem like a walk in the woods, and I’ll get through it…even if I need a lil oxygen in the end.

So between now and Austin or LA or Nashville or WHEREVER, I’ll keep truckin’.

You know I always do.

D.

On spending.

Check it:

Sunday night, I told myself that I would get through Monday without spending a SINGLE dollar. Not a cent. I had some groceries left over from the weekend and enough random food to get me through the day that I wouldn’t have to buy anything and enough gas in my car that I could go to and from school without a refill. Said I could get by without spending any more money on top of the things I already had.

This endeavor may sound stupid or self-absorbed…I don’t know. I don’t know how it sounds to you, and I hope it’s not offensive in any way, like I’m some douche who wants to “choose” not to spend money for a DAY, but think about it. When was the last time that you went through an entire DAY without spending a CENT? I’m not talking about percentages of your rent or power bills that are included on that day, but spending on top of what you have already paid for, like buying added groceries to what you have, or useless items and coffees that you don’t need. Can you remember?

I can’t. I hit the grocery store up pretty much EVERY DAY, even when I have veggies and meal materials in the fridge. These things go bad sometimes because I don’t get to them in time, thanks to the added things I buy during the week. I also go through days where I BUY my lunch at school. I’ll drop $3.50 on a couple of carrot sticks and a coffee when I HAVE all of this at home, but didn’t take the time to prepare it for the road. Ridiculous. And then there’s the useless stuff on top of this, which can include anything from parking costs to a new t-shirt to that ONE song on iTunes that I HAVE to download for my commute. Stupid.

So I tried it. Monday came, I went to school, hit the gym, and made dinner with food I already had, and it felt pretty good. Thought it was something I needed to practice more often.

And then I remembered I downloaded a song on iTunes that morning while I was getting ready for class. I broke my own promise before I even left my HOUSE and spend 99 cents on a download of the “What’s Going On” cover by the All-Star Tribute from 2001. It’d been stuck in my head and I did it without even THINKING. I hadn’t heard the song in a LONG time, and Marvin Gaye’s version was stuck in my head, so I wanted to hear it again. Took like 12 seconds to download it straight to the touch. Twelve seconds to spend a buck on a day I said I wouldn’t. Idiot.

Anyway, I wanna do this successfully, but it’s HARD to go a day without spending money, and that makes me sad. It sucks that we live in a society where it pretty much HAS to happen on a daily basis, but I have to admit that I’m as guilty as anyone else in this area.

It’s a weird thing to think about, but why not give it a shot? It could be the cool thing to do, like jumping onto a trend before the rest of the world does. Give up spending for a day and see how you feel. Use whatcha GOT and work with it. Because, dang it, most of us PROBABLY have everything we need already. No need to spend. Just live.

Ramblin’ on,
D.

Eighteen again.

Went back to NC State this weekend for homecoming and I became a 25-year-old 18-year-old. My friends and I are seven years removed from our freshman year there, but we’re skilled in taking trips with the metaphorical time machine made up of our memories.

The game was great. State beat Wake Forest 38-3, but the score and the action were only pinpoints in the weekend. This trip was more about catching up with old friends and calling each other out for how we used to be…and re-living certain aspects of our old selves.

We’ve all been through a lot since then. Every year since has been a tally-mark in the age column and a step forward in maturity, but through everything, we pick up where we started as kids in college ready to tackle the world. Our only problems then were finding out where to go and what to do every night. The drama wasn’t finding and keeping a job, but dealt with who was dating who and if this party was worth going to over that one. And we thought THAT was hard…

The main difference between then and now, though, is that in 2003, we were all in the same boat. We were starting school, confident, and nothing was jaded. We lived in the same building and we came together as a family at the start of COLLEGE, where no matter what “they” say about class, you’re gonna learn more about YOURSELF than anything else as you go through the process.

Now we’re all in different places and points of our lives. Some are married, some are back in school, some are states away, and some have big kid jobs. Regardless of where we are, though, we had that first year, and we went through one of the biggest one-year leaps of personal change together: the transition of being a freshman to being a sophomore. People came into and left our group as we moved forward in the next few years. Younger folks joined up and some moved away, but we stayed close, and whether we see each other every day or once every four years, the gap apart is easily closed, and it’s just like running into each other by the entrance of Owen Hall between class or at Fountain for a meal.

So this weekend was great. It was a break from everything of today and a true trip down memory lane. I’ve been wearing nostalgia like cologne lately. Like cologne temporarily covers up the fact that I didn’t shower today (no shame), nostalgia brings back the past in a way that you can hear it and feel it, but you’re not THERE. I can see it, but I can’t cover up the fact that as always, time is flying forward and those days are over (just like I won’t be able to cover the non-shower smell much longer…gross).

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE where I am today and I’m super-happy with life. But the memories I hold on to are what brought me to this point, so I’ll always have a soft spot for those times.

Raleigh is different now, and there’s something new every time I go back. Hillsborough Street is a living juxtaposition of the past and the future, with its run-down shops and restaurants but futuristic airport runway of lights and automatic parking meters. It’s fancy, but the roundabouts suck. Downtown has LINES in front of bars now, and Carter-Finley Stadium hosts a winning Wolfpack team.

Faces are different everywhere we go, but for ONE weekend, we owned the city again, brought back 2003, and made it our HOME.

I love you guys, and I can’t wait until we do this again, wherever and whenever that may be.

Drew

Freshman year:


Saturday Night:

Coffee.

Coffee has become my fuel. It’s the gasoline to my car and the yellow sun to my Superman. I drink it and it pushes me. Ahh, coffee.

I’ve been a two cup a morning guy for three years now, but I’d managed to cut out day consumption over the last year or so…until grad school.

Now I need it. One cup when I wake up. A tall cup for the commute to school. And an afternoon Vente Black before my last classes of the day. I told myself I wouldn’t do that, but after the first time, it was all downhill.

Weekends are no different. I went to brunch at 11:30 yesterday, and by the time we left at one, BOOM, my persistent waitress had topped off my bottomless cup four times. Didn’t even realize it. Until I was bouncing in my chair and chewing my nails.

I’m one down right now, waiting to go get food and itching for my next cup. It’s one o’clock.

Oh, coffee. I love you and I hate you at the very same time.

So long, Bobby. We'll miss you.

The Braves were eliminated from the NLDS Monday night, but that wasn’t the real story. While reaching the end of the season is always rough, it was harder this year because it meant the end of Bobby Cox as manager.

In 25 years of managing the team, Cox lead the Braves to 2,149 wins and 15 straight division titles, including winning the 1995 World Series. He loved Atlanta and his players so much that he’d fight and stand up against every bad call, leading to 158 ejections in his career—first on the all-time list. But he was never bad-tempered. He had heart, and usually got fired up to prevent his players from getting kicked out of a game.

For me, Bobby was always a link to my grandfather. Granddaddy was the reason I loved the Braves. Growing up, I collected the cards and tried to play for a year or two. I faded numerous Braves hats and loved being a fan. However, I didn’t really watch the game until I was a little older.

I remember the moment I started to truly get into the Braves. We’d go to the beach every summer with my grandparents and family, and of course, my grandfather had control of the TV remote. These were the Turner hay-days, when the Braves were on TV six nights a week.

We’d finish dinner and Granddaddy would take his seat on the couch and turn it to baseball. My cousins and I knew this would happen every night, and we’d get bummed because we would want to play movies or watch cartoons, but we knew we were there because of him and respected what he wanted to watch. He’d go to bed kind of early, and we’d get the TV from there.

We got used to this trend over the years, and we’d continually repeat the cycle. Dinner--Braves--Granddaddy to bed--TV control. After a while though, instead of just waiting for control of the remote, I sat down and started to watch. I absorbed the lights on the green of the field and the sound of the bat and learned the players’ names and positions. I became more than just a kid with the faded “A” on my hat. I became a fan sitting next to my grandfather, and it was a great bond.

Granddaddy passed away July 1, 2001. It was my first experience with loss, and it was hard (Of course, it’s never easy). The night before his service, the Braves trailed four runs to the Phillies halfway through the fourth inning. I was down, and the Braves were down. But then Atlanta scored. And they scored again. And again. They went from four down to batting in the runs and winning the game by seven! It was a great game, and it lifted my spirits.

The next day, we said our goodbyes to Granddaddy. When it was my turn, I looked at him, and all I could think of was how peaceful he looked. I got my voice to rise out of my throat and told him about the great Braves comeback the night before. It was our bond, and I know he would’ve been proud. I had to tell him, but I probably didn’t need to, because I’m sure he was watching from somewhere that night.
The Braves went on to win the division again that year, but they entered the playoffs with the lowest win total of the other playoff teams. They lost to the Diamondbacks in five games in the NLCS, and the season was over, but my love for the Braves and the tie to my grandfather lived on.

Of course, I’ve continued to love the Braves since, and I’ve been lucky enough to make it to a few games in Atlanta. Through it all, Bobby Cox has been on the bench in the corner of the dugout. Looking at him, hat low and sun-worn face, he always reminded me of my grandfather, and seeing him always took me back to sitting on the couch and watching the game with Granddaddy.

Last night was Bobby Cox’s last game as manager of the Braves. Besides Chipper Jones, he’s the last Brave on the team who was part of the organization when my grandfather watched them play six nights a week. His impact on the game will be felt for years to come, and while the Braves will move on, it will be different. I know, though, that just like the bond I have with my grandfather, his legacy will live on forever.

Thanks for everything, Bobby. We’ll miss you.

Drew.

R.I.P. Jetta

My Jetta is officially gone. The insurance people finally came to evaluate the damage, and the tow company picked it up while I was at school Monday. I didn’t get to say goodbye.

I’m not gonna lie. I cried. But I’m a crier. I lose it every time I watch “Field of Dreams” and Ray’s dad asks him if they’re in Heaven. “No, we’re in Iowa,” but there IS a Heaven. I tear up sometimes when I tell my girlfriend how much I love her, because I’ve been on the shit side of it and never thought it could be like this. I cried every summer on the last night of camp growing up, and YES, I’ve even shed a few while watching “Gravity” being played in person.

So when my car was taken from its final resting place, I cried.

My mom put a flower on the spot where it got hit, and coming home with it gone (as pitiful as it had been), the whirlwind of the last week caught up with me. Everything’s been non-stop since I had to get out of bed at 3 a.m. a week ago to see the damage, and it really didn’t hit me that it was destroyed until now.

It’s crazy to put so much into an OBJECT, but I’m a sentimental dude, and cars are different than other material goods. They take us places and protect us along the way. They’re a stereo on wheels, and you know you need music for any drive. They’re the last stop for a personal pep-talk before an interview or a first-date, and they take us back when the pep-talks work and things are good (or get us out when we need to run). They are the most important part of any road trip.

And speaking of ROAD TRIPS, my Jetta got to go on quite a FEW (or maybe I should say that I got to go on quite a few because of my Jetta). Together, we went through a total of 11 states and countless trips to the mountains and the beach. We also went to 11 Mayer shows. We drove all over North Carolina, down to Auburn, up to DC, and hit Tennessee from tip to tip. The driving partners changed over time but my Jetta took whoever was riding wherever we needed to go.

I’m looking for a new-used car now, but I feel like the kid from “Old Yeller” when he doesn’t want the new puppy. It’s just not the same.

So, R.I.P., my driving friend. Thanks for the miles and the memories.

Thank you, Michael Franti.

Today is Monday. It’s hard not to think about this fact. The weekend’s done, and a new week is starting up. It’s cloudy out, I’m dragging, and it’s gonna be a lonnnnnng week.

But I’m not gonna Eeyore this morning. Nope. Why?

Because Michael Franti and Spearhead made me smile on my ride to school.

His music is plain-old HAPPY. I saw him open for Mayer in March, and I knew he brought this feel to the stage, but I only danced to it (not on stage, unfortunately [cough]). I didn’t listen hard enough at the time. The song that I was lucky enough to hear today, though, was called “I’ll Be Waiting,” and it turned my “case of the Mondays” attitude into more of a “case of the Tuesdays” vibe. I listened this morning, and the lyrics that really caught me were:

“The best things in life are things

The laughing and crying.

The best things in life are things

The frightened, they’re still fighting…”

He’s speaking TRUTH. The musical aspect of the song was friendly, and the lyrics are right. It’s all about smiles and cries. I wanna add this song to the mix tape of my life right now.

“I Won’t Back Down” by Tom Petty and “War of My Life” by Johnny May are on this list too. They all have similar themes with various degrees of badass-ness thrown in. Franti’s has more of an “I’ve got your back” feel to it, but it’s got the same message: “Keep fighting on. Don’t give up, and things will be ok.”

The back of my mind believes this message, but when outside forces try to take this belief away it’s a lot harder to hold onto. Songs like this and moments of clarity in between the bullshit and the work are what bring the idea BACK. It’s the last limb on the bottom of the tree you’re falling out of, and it’s there to catch just before you hit the ground. You’ve just gotta throw your hands up and try to grab it, because I promise it’s there. Hang on, climb back up, and keep going, because there’s a much better view at the top of the tree than from the bottom.

I’m working on getting to the next branch now, and I’m gonna tell myself to keep going.

Until I get to that next one, I’ll sit through this Monday with a thanks to Michael Franti and a good song in my head.

D.

"It's 3 a.m. and I wanna go to bed..."

There is NOTHING fun about being woken up at 3 a.m. by cops at your door, but it could DEFINITELY be worse than why they came to mine Tuesday night. I was the victim of a hit and run, and my 1999 Jetta was totaled.

You may be thinking, “that sucks,” and it does, but it’s all about OPTIMISM, right? Looking at things HALF-FULL. Believe me, it’s the only way to roll through life happy.

But let’s get back to the knock first. I was out COLD for the night, dreaming about not being in school, when something woke me up. I have a wrap-around porch on my duplex that ends with a window attached to my bedroom, and somebody was RIGHT OUTSIDE. Whoever it was had a flashlight and was waving It around my window.

Then “BOOM BOOM BOOM!” Somebody was pounding on my door! I freakin’ froze up in bed, but I knew I had to answer it, not knowing what the intentions of the person would be. I got outta bed, left my lacrosse stick behind like a sleep-deprived idiot, and yelled, “Yo!”

“Police, open up!” they said. I was awake now…

“Oh,” I said, and opened right up. My mind was racing, having NO CLUE what was going on.

“Are you the owner of the black vehicle outside?”

“Yeah. What’s up?”

“You’ve been the victim of a hit and run.”

Shitttttttt, I thought. I walked outside, and sure enough, I was the victim of a hit and run. Cops don’t really lie about these things, but I was tired, dammit, and had to see it.

The guy who did it slammed into my car and fled on foot. My poor Jetta was pushed up onto the sidewalk with a snapped axel and a caved-in passenger side. One of my wheels was parallel to the ground, “Back to the Future”-style (You know, like when the Delorean flies in the second movie). It was totaled. And damn, it’s cold out at 3 in the morning…

Anyway, fast-forward real quick, and everything is going to be ok…for me at least. We got the kid’s insurance from his dad, and they’re going to come give me a quote on how much money I’ll get for a new car in the next day or two.

The KID, though, is screwed. Besides being drunk and committing a hit and run, the police found pot and pills in his car, AND he had expired tags. There’s a warrant out for him now, but I don’t if they’ve gotten him yet.

Crazy, right?

There are several things to take out of this, though. First, thank GOD no one was hurt, past the surface injuries the driver sustained. A car is a car, and it sucks, but everybody is ok. Second, I hope the kid will be all right. What I hope he gets out of this is a life-changing experience. I hope he looks at it as an event that turned his life around, and starts living it RIGHT. Moments like these define character, and the way you handle it can determine the rest of your life, so I hope he looks at it as a second chance instead of a terrible night.

Drunk driving is no joke. I know there have been a few times where I shouldn’t have been behind the wheel, and I’m SUPER-thankful and lucky that I’m here today to write this admission. DD’s and cabs are awesome, and 20 bucks on a safe ride is a lot cheaper than the cost of a lawyer. Or your life.

My car will be taken care of. Things are cool. We’re all still here. The rest doesn’t matter. Just gotta keep truckin’ and keep it half-full.

True.
D.

Theory Exorcism.

I need something to write about.

Anything. I’m kinda lost at sea. I mean, is writing about not knowing what to write about a topic? I’m drawing blanks here. My creativity is being sucked dry by shitty theory writing for school. The time I put into writing about what I LOVE is being traded for time writing about communication theory and hypothesis.

Not trying to bitch. I guess it’s not truly writer’s block, but “intellectual writer’s block.” My creative mind is currently possessed by a demon made up of textbooks, scholarly journals, and computers. I need an exorcist made up of Nature, Music, and Free Time.

The Music is there. I listen to it on the way to and from school and when I work out. I do my best thinking on my 35 minute drive to school. The ideas flow between chords and songs, and I feel inspired with my coffee and my sunglasses. It’s my second-favorite time of day, besides seeing my lady. I feel happy and ready to take on anything, knowing my ideas will be successful. Only problem is, as soon as I walk into school and turn on my computer, they’re gone.

I don’t really know how to fix this problem yet, and I wouldn’t be writing about it if I did. I’ve always heard that it’s good to “visualize” what you want to happen before you get a chance to MAKE it happen. My lacrosse coach always told us to do this before games, and they say it’s good to do so before interviews. Kind of like a psychological warm-up. I visualize all these ideas, but I can’t make them happen due to lack of Nature and Free Time, so they disappear.

I could try to write them down and save them for later, but then others will pile up. They’re like dreams deferred, and they kind of fade to quiet like the end of a good song. The thought stays, and then the chords of the next one begin and it’s gone.

I’ll figure it out, though. I’m in this thing for the long run, and while I feel like I’ve been a little mislead, I’m still on a path to better things. In the meantime, I’ll keep searching for a way to tip the scales in favor of creativity. I’ll MAKE it shine, damnit. Love it too much not to.

Eight months left, and miles to go before I sleep.

D.

Too much STUFF.

Watch this, because it'll open your eyes: http://www.storyofstuff.com/

And then read my take:


Ever listen to the song “Penny Lane” by The Beatles? It sounds SUPER happy, but when you listen to the actual lyrics, it takes a turn and becomes ominous REALLY fast.

“The Story of Stuff” reminded me of a cartoon version of this. It looks and sounds happy and fun, but when you really LISTEN to the message, it’s scary and sad.

This animation is something I think everybody should see. It’s important enough that I’m even going to post this into my fun, non-school related blog. It’s educational and enlightening, and it freaks me out.

I took notes throughout the animation of the facts that really stood out for me. How about knowing that of the 100 largest economies, 51 are corporations!? I bet the conspiracy theorists LOVE this one. Really makes you think about the whole BP situation in the Gulf. Sometimes you gotta wonder who really is running everything…

And America, come on! We really do think we own the world, don’t we? The fact that we would need 3-5 Earths if everyone consumed the way we do really caught my attention. We also consume twice as much as we did 50 years ago, and release at least 4 billion pounds of pollution a year!

Oh, and how about the fact that we have more stuff than ever, but we’re also unhappier than ever. There’s GOTTA be a correlation here. We have more stuff, but less time to use it. Apparently we have less leisure time NOW than we did during feudal society, and when we do have free time, we waste it on television and retail. The fun and real things in life, like family and friends and love, are overlooked, and we keep trucking forward and piling up the money so we can pile up the toys we’ll put down after a week.

All of this is ridiculous, but I can’t say that I’m any better than everyone who falls into this equation. This weekend alone, I went through a pile of my old “stuff” to find things to give to Goodwill. I rummaged through stacks of old t-shirts and analyzed which ones I could stand to part with. A lot of them were stupid graphic tees with cool logos or catchy messages, and even though I hadn’t worn them in a while, I thought, “man, I might want to wear this again one day.” I managed to overcome this for the most part, and ended up giving away about 30 shirts. Thirty shirts! I certainly don’t NEED 30 shirts, but it’s not my fault, right? Nope. It’s not my fault that I’m exposed to 3,000 ads a day, and told to buy new things because we’re groomed with perceived obsolescence to believe that the newest trend is the only way and that anything else is shit.

So no, it’s not my fault.

But yeah, it is. I don’t NEED to fall into this. And this little presentation certainly encourages me to avoid all of this to the best of my ability. I want to be a representation of this and go out like a soldier for sustainability. I’ve gotten better in the last few years because I’ve learned more about the situation and everything that’s going on in the world. Half the time that’s what it’s all about. We NEED to be educated on this stuff, because knowledge of the problem is the first step in the direction of fixing it.

Once we gain the knowledge, it’s up to us to act. You guys think we can do it?

Wolfpack 2003.v.2010.

NC State just put a beating on Cincinnati, and I’m happy.

We’re 3-0 for the first time since 2002, and it feels like my freshman year of college again. We’ve got a strong offense (maybe not as strong as with Rivers that year, but strong) and a good defense (better than freshman year ‘03), so it balances out pretty well.

It’s pretty fitting. Good Wolfpack team. I’m like a “freshman” in a new school. Fall fast-approaching. Life’s a wheel that keeps on TURNING and it always amazes me how things come around again.

So much happens this time of year. To me, the start of football season triggers the beginning of the fall more than the start of school, and I love it. I’m a sucker for spring and the weather getting warmer, but I’m deeply in love with autumn and the changes the season brings. It’s nostalgia and cooler temperatures and beautiful.

Looking forward to seeing how my Wolfpack respond to this start and to what the autumn will bring us all. These kind of feelings definitely make the rest of the pressures I’m feeling seem a lot lighter…

Caveman Diet.

I’ve gone paleo. It’s true. I’ve been eating like a caveman for the past two weeks, excluding the weekends, and I’m feeling good.

I did some research on the topic and it seems like a pretty legit diet. All it really involves is consumption of foods that were around 10,000 years ago, so lots of nuts, fruits, veggies, and meat. You’re not supposed to eat dairy, legumes, grains, or processed oils and foods. Check it out:



My problem is that I don’t EAT meat, so I’ve modified it in a way that I get plenty of fish and whey protein (I get that they didn’t have protein powder back in the day, but this is MY version, so back off). I’m also keeping some of the fake meats in my diet, which doesn’t fall into the purely-paleo path but keeps me fed and fit.

I’m eating lunch as I type right now, and it’s all fruits, veggies, and nuts. I know I sound like a rabbit, but it’s freakin’ delicious and fresh. The nuts cover good fats and proteins, and I’ve got plenty of vitamins and minerals coming in from the fruits and veggies.

I’m only doing this on a trial basis for now, but I like the results I’m already seeing. I feel great, my workouts are rockin’, and it seems like a good thing, so why not keep going?

I realize I might get bored of it after a while, but that’s what my weekends are for. Monday through Friday is all health when my Saturdays and Sundays are all pizza, fries, beer, and pancakes. Mmm, mmm. And I definitely cheat mid-week from time to time, depending on the occasion or how I feel.

Eating like a caveman isn’t so bad, and like anything, it gets easier the more you do it. I’m gonna run with it for now, and we’ll see what happens…

D.

True Blood finale.

The “True Blood” season 3 finale was the other night, and of COURSE, they left us hanging for the next one.

I’ve watched it two and a half times now, and while it was fun, it wasn’t as shocking as the finales of the past two seasons have been, because they left so MANY loose ends by the conclusion of the episode. Instead of one BIG shock, they left us with about NINE.

Let’s take a look (SPOILER, if you care…):

1. Bill’s mission for the Queen: One of the biggest shockers of the finale was when Eric revealed that Bill was sent to Sookie by the Queen from day one to figure out exactly what she was. It got shadier when he told her that Bill let Sookie get beaten up so he could save her and link her with his blood. Of course, Sookie flipped out at the news of this, but Bill legitimately protested that he had no idea of why he was sent, and that he really did fall in love with her. She kicked him out, he left crying. The situation sucks, but I think he really does love her. No bad motives there, and with how writing works they’ll throw them back together by the end of the next season. If you haven’t realized by now, it’s never good to “Jim and Pam” or “Ryan and Marissa” your characters by hooking them up early in the series.

2. Sookie’s disappearance into the Light: We all knew Sookie’s background as a Fairy had to be further explained. There’s still a lot of mystery here, but I’m sure she’ll be back and inspired to use what she’ll learn from the others.

3. Did Sam shoot his brother? No. OR, yes, but in the leg or foot. Sam explored his dark side in this season, and we found out more about his past, but he’s good at heart. While his brother used him, I think he sees a lot of himself in the kid. He’ll give him a second chance. You may disagree, but I don’t see it any other way.

4. Tara leaving town: Tara’s been through so MUCH the past two seasons. She deserves a new start, and she’ll be missed, but there’s no way she’ll be gone for good. She’ll be drawn back by something having to do with her mother, because as hard as she tries, she can’t break that link.

5. Jason as a caretaker: Jason was left in charge of the Bon Temps Hillbilly Corps. He’s an idiot, but he’s a big kid and he tries hard. As always, he has no clue what he’s getting into, but he’s following his heart and I think it will actually turn out good in the end.

6. Lafayette and Jesus: Lafayette is seeing some messed up SHIT now, and it all has to do with the V he took and his link to Jesus, who revealed himself as a witch. It’s like he can see the inner evil of people (Rene in Arlene, blood on Sam’s hands), and he can’t escape it. He seemed scared of Jesus in the end, but I think Jesus will guide him and teach him what he needs to know to overcome and use these visions.

7. Hoyt and Jessica: Happy ending? Too good to be true. What the hell was that doll on the floor of their new house? Their relationship is lovable, but something bad has to bring it down. Again, that’s how writing works. Don’t forget about Hoyt’s mom buying a rifle at the end there. It’s obviously for Jessica, but something tells me Hoyt’s gonna be the one who gets hurt by her intentions. Like you, I REALLY want this to work out, but when something looks sunny, there are always shadows in the dark.

8. Russel and Godric: Two old vampires. Russel was left charred and buried in concrete, but he’s pissed off and he wants revenge. He’ll be back. And GODRIC is coming off as the Jesus of Vampires. He’s a ghost now, but he only wants peace. Something tells me he wanted to save Russel for a reason, like it would help out the bigger picture of things. It’ll be interesting to see if he shows up again.

9. Arlene and Terry: This is a secondary loose-end, but Arlene is still pregnant, and with Lafayette’s vision you wonder about the baby. And I don’t trust her methods of trying to end the pregnancy. Something weird is going on, and it’s gonna bite them in the ass.

Whew. So. LOTS to take in. Instead of punching us in the face with one giant opening, they hit us in the stomach with several loose ends. It was entertaining, but they’ve got a lotttttt of explaining to do in nine months.

Until then, stay outta the sun and let your fangs hang down.

D.

Shuffle.

Haven’t had a free-style write in a while so I’m going for it.

MAN, I’m tired. Wired tired. I know I should go to bed and I’ve got a thousand things I need to do before then, but I’m not gonna do those either. One thing at a time, right?

I ate dinner down the street at Fishbones tonight and a bunch of musicians set up their amps and instruments across the intersection and started jamming. We were on the patio, and I wasn’t sure about it at first, but once the guitars started humming and the bass started groovin’, it was amazing. They had an ambient sound to their music which blended nicely into the orange-blue dusk lighting. I’m not usually into straight-up jammage, but they were doing it RIGHT, and it cooled the hot air down a lil for us all.

Ahhh, music. I’ve always appreciated it. You know this. I know this. But I’ve really been trying to ABSORB it lately. Life is in a stalemate with time right now, but it’s on the starting block of a sprint, just waiting for the gun. Oh, and it’s about to FLY.

Freakin’ grad school. Yeah, that’s the race for now, and as you know, we’re always racing SOMETHING.

But the MUSIC helps get me THROUGH it. I have a 30-minute commute each way everyday, and putting my iPod on shuffle takes me through everything from slow and peaceful melodies to fast-paced songs I like to run to. Each one is a button-push away from getting passed to the next one, depending on my mood (and how much coffee I’ve had).

Putting my iPod on shuffle is nice because I never know what song will come up. I’ve got music on there I forget about, music I listen to over and over, and music that takes me BACK to different moments in my life.

That last subject is something I am all ABOUT, and something I truly believe in. I’ve talked about it before, and I’ll talk about it again, but I KNOW that everyone has songs that take them to specific points of their lives. This is something I wanna write blurbs about anytime one of these songs comes up for me, and I encourage you to do the same. We can see if any similar songs come up and swap stories.

Pass it on, because I guarantee everyone’s been there at some point.

And if you wanna do it right, put it on SHUFFLE. Life’s a shuffle anyway, right? Yeah, we go to work and school and get into routines, but every day is different. Don’t get caught up in the redundant, but look at what you’re LIVING. Make it fun and make it count.

D.

Websites.

My professor for Interactive Writing and Design asked us to introduce ourselves today and tell what website we visit first every morning.

My answer, along with half of the class, was Facebook.

Sad, I know, but I’m a Facebookaholic. I said I check it first because it’s good seeing what all’s going with everybody and if anyone posted anything on my wall overnight. Why does this matter to me? I don’t KNOW, but I ALWAYS check it.

And thinking about the time I spend on Facebook, I made the depressing calculation that if I spend a QUARTER of Facebook time with my guitar instead of on the computer, I’d probably be pretty dang good. But no. No. I like watching links to viral videos on YouTube and seeing who all is recently engaged instead. Idiot.

The positive is that Tumblr is the second site I check every morning, so I guess I’m going in the “write” direction…get it? It motivates me to write and it motivates me to post fun things, and it’s more focused than Facebook, so it at least FEELS more credible.

Anyway, if I can find a way to turn my Facebook time back and turn my writing time (or guitar time, or school time) up, I’ll feel better about it. But we shall see, haha…

Outkast.

West Savannah.

Windows down on my way home and it came on my iPod. Took me back to Fall 2000, the start of tenth grade, and riding around in my buddy Dirk’s old Volvo. We were young, we weren’t freshmen anymore, and we had a friend who could DRIVE. Cool nerds who thought we were gangster.

Music is a time machine.

HBO.

I keep forgetting it’s Tuesday, and that’s AWESOME. It’s my first day back in school so my mind thinks it’s Monday. GOTTA love it when you realize you’ve only got a four-day week until the weekend. It’s like waking up from a “naked in front of an audience” dream and realizing you were sleeping (unless you’re into that, of course).

The last week off was exactly what I wanted: relaxing. Spent a lot of time at the gym and a lot of time with my lady, and otherwise, a lot of time watching “True Blood.”

And it’s true. I’m obsessed. I like the show so much that I wish I was a vampire. It wouldn’t be so bad, flipping day and night and living like a rockstar. Amanda and I watched the first two seasons over the first part of break, but we were itching like V-addicts to catch up on season 3.

Itching so bad, in fact, that I looked online to see if it was available on HBO on Demand. Oh, and it was. Then I looked up how much HBO cost a month. Thirteen bucks.

Hmmm. Never had HBO before. Hmmm. Two months of HBO costs half the price of the DVD set. Hmmm.

GOT IT! And it’s been totally worth it. We are now one episode from being caught-up before the season finale. After that, see ya, HBO!

Nothing like beating the system. Whew. So for now, school. Later, livin’ like Bill Compton and watching the show until it’s drained DRY.

D.

Drew vs Food.

Went to Richmond, Virginia on Friday with my mom to help my sister get geared up for her move to Florida.

It was a chill night, and marked two years since I first asked Amanda out, and two years since the Mayer show in Raleigh that she couldn’t go to. RIDICULOUS how fast the time goes. That show still stands out as one of the best I’ve seen, if not the best. He brought it ALL, and it was rainy and emotional and raw, and he played my trifecta all in a row: Gravity>Clarity>Wheel. Couldn’t have asked for a better evening (unless she could’ve made it, haha…)

Anyway, it was cool seeing a bit of RVA. It’s an eclectic city with a vibe similar to Austin and Nashville. A lot of it’s so laid-back that it’s hard to believe it was once the capital of the Confederacy. Guess it’s a concrete example of how things can change, eh?

Went to dinner with the mom and sis to a lil Thai place called “Ginger” where I ate THE spiciest meal I’ve EVER had in my life. It was killer, and I love spicy. I’ve always been a fan of sweating as I eat, but as I struggled through the dish I looked like I’d been at the gym in my jeans and dress shirt. I didn’t even order the spiciest flavor! It goes up to “Make me cry” hot, and I ordered the second strongest, “Thai hot.” The server asked me if I was sure when I chose the spice, and I said “yes” with a cocky grin on my face. HA. Dude smiled back as if he knew something I didn’t…

And he did. My food came out and after the first taste of the first onion, I knew it was going to be epic. The spice had a snowball effect that just kept BUILDING. I tuned out conversations and my mom saying “you don’t have to finish it, you know,” but kept eating.

And I was going to finish it, dammit.

With every bite I felt like Frodo on the quest with the ring of power. The spice was my Mordor and a clean plate was how I would destroy the ring and save the world. Sweat poured into my food and red wine calmed my palette, but I kept going.

Did I get there? YES!

My sinuses were Claritin-clear and I was drenched, but yes, I finished.

But that wasn’t the end. No SIR! We were in Richmond, so fried Oreos were a MUST! If you’re looking for it, Heaven is in RVA in the form of these guys at the Galaxy Diner. SO good.

After dinner, mom told me she felt sorry for how I was going to feel in the morning, but I laughed it off. The food was delicious, I was victorious, and it was a good night.

D.

PS: Mom was right.

Embracing the nothing.

School is kicking my Tumblr’s ASS right now, but I’ve got a week off and I’m ready to WRITE.

Went up to the mountains for a quiet getaway this weekend and it felt like fall. Loved it. Don’t get me wrong, summer is still in full swing, but it was nice to breathe in cool air for a few days. I’m a big fan of every season, but my favorite times are the transition periods into the next one, when the weather changes and everything feels new. Parallels life on a lot of different levels.

Didn’t get out much while we were there, but I’m not complaining. Spent a lot of the time feeding a new addiction to “True Blood,” which is trashy awesome. I wasn’t sure I’d like it because EVERYBODY talks and raves about it, but it sucks you IN (pun intended). The characters are all great and complex in their own ways, and the plot lines are always pretty twisted. It’s also violent, sexy, and hilarious. I’ve been watching it so much that my Southern accent keeps popping out and the sun hurts my skin. It’s crazy.

It was nice getting to leave town for a few days and do NOTHING. It’s rare to soak in the nothing, and sometimes it wears you out more that doing SOMETHING, but after a while it helps you melt into whatever chair you’re sitting in or bed you’re laying on and you just relax. It’s kind of like stopping to smell the roses or admire a nice view. We run out of time to do things like this, and even when we make the time to do it, we often feel obligated to do something else.

Finding the time to do it and embracing the nothing is one of the most relaxing things you can do, and I hope I get to do it again soon.

D.

Musical double standards.

Musical double standards.
There is a musical double standard.

What is it?

It’s guys listening to female singers. For some reason, society says it’s not cool for dudes to listen to chick singers. If you do this, you’re either “gay” (in a derogatory sense of the word) or you’re in the same family as the girl, but what are the odds of that?

Women can listen to it all and there’s no backlash. They blast female singers because they can relate to what they’re singing to, and they rock dude singers because they might be attracted to the guys, but they also respect the MUSIC. (Ladies, I mean absolutely NO disrespect. I’m just jealous.)

And, honestly, that’s what it’s all about.

Respecting the MUSIC.

So what’s wrong with a dude rockin’ the music of a lady?

I’m a fan of several female singers. I love Alicia Keys because she brings Motown with a modern twist and she can BELT it. I’m a fan of Michelle Branch because she carries the acoustic vibe of early John Mayer and she’s talented. I like Paramore because Hayley Williams makes me run faster on the treadmill when she sings about love and some of the bullshit that comes with it. There are several others, but what sucks is feeling the “need” to roll my window up or turn my volume knob down when I approach a stoplight, like it’s a “bad” thing that I’m feeling their music.

The double standard in music is whack. I’ve gotten pretty good about not turning the music down, but I still get that stupid feeling like people are gonna talk shit about the music I like. But hey, it’s MUSIC. It’s LIFE. Fuck it, right?

If they stopped to listen, they’d realize what they were missing. And if it causes an awkward glance from time to time, screw it. Think of the good it does for you and how that outweighs their judgement.

Then turn it up and keep driving.

D.

Ramble on.

Sittin' on my porch again. Been out for a bit.

I'm in an interesting place right now. Things are cool, but a lot is changing. You know this. I've complained and celebrated it at the same time.

You ever have anything you complain and celebrate about? It's an odd combination. Same as being excited and nervous about something. One thing's great, the other not so much. I guess it's all about figuring out which side you're on. Half empty, or half full.

I'm half full most of the time, and without tooting my own horn, I like that about myself. I think looking at the world (especially as crazy as it is these days) in a positive light is important and builds character.

Things won't always go our way, but if you keep a good head about it, everything will be all right.

I went out in Raleigh last night with my good friend Daniel. We reflected on old times and kicked it like we used to. It was awesome.

Thing is, we both talked about being 25.

What is being 25? Is it marriage? Is it success? How do we weigh this age? Does it matter?

I honestly think the idea of success is different for everyone.

There's a definition for "success" in the dictionary. I don't feel like looking it up, but it's in there. We all know this. But do you believe in that definition, or your own?

As a 25 year-old going through what I think may be quarter-life crisis reflecting, I believe that success is a personal word. I think we all have our OWN version of success in our heads.

Our generation is made to believe that success is all about money and who you know, but I honestly think that all it boils down to is HAPPINESS.

Who is happy these days? Is happiness the fast-forward life that we choose to live? Is it money? Is it family?

I guess it's different for everyone too.

To me, right now, if you asked me what I thought it was, I'd say it was family, love, and LIFE. School is gonna kick my ass, but I'm happy with where I stand. I wanna make money to support myself and my future family, but I also wanna have fun.

I like where I am, but I'm not a fan of people judging people based on what their own definitions of success and happiness are. I don't like it when people look down on others because they don't think they're living up to certain personal standards. That's YOUR opinion...not theirs'! Get over it.

Live your life. Enjoy it. Embrace it. And support the fact that other people want to live theirs how they wanna live it.

Love it all.

That's what I say.

Damnit.

D.

August.

August.

The coolest name of the months, but one of the hottest. It means back to school, humidity, and slightly shorter days. It’s a sleep month where instead of sitting on porches and soaking in the heat, it’s back to the grind.

August.

Eighth month of the year. 2010 is flying by, but I’ll say that again in September. It’s the end of summer to society, but not to the calendar. It’s the start of pre-season football and the trade deadline for baseball. New beginnings and last chances to get the perfect team together, because October is right around the corner.

August.

A time to rush during the week but slow down when you’re off. A time to soak in the remaining hot, orange sunsets and to listen to cicadas before they stop and to outdoor music before they move it inside where it’s constricted to only the paying audience. Everyone knows that like us, music should never be tied down.

August.

I like it.

Monday night.

I’m sitting on my porch drinking a glass of red wine and listening to the NIGHT.

The crickets are humming and playing their legs like violins, and cars are driving by faster than they should (but I do it too). It’s cool out tonight. Crisp. One of the crickets is louder than the rest. The lead singer while the others provide backup. I can hear drums from a bar down the road. They stopped now, but I’m sure they’ll kick back in a second. Monday night is open mic, and it’s subtle from a distance, but it’s there. My mind is wandering. I miss my girlfriend and my sister and freedom. School isn’t freedom, but a new step. I like the step, but anything new is scary. But scary is good. I heard the other day that the Chinese character for “danger” is the same as the one for “opportunity.” I don’t know if it’s true, but I like it. It makes sense. Lots of things don’t, but that’s part of the fun of it all.

Right?

[Twos]day Tunesday.

Yesterday was a long day. Not bad, just LONG.

It was my second day of class and rainy out, so instead of getting jazzed up and ready it was just the sequel. Same place, same people, different day. The main character’s [Drew’s] new struggle: “He’s gotten through the first day [cue music]…Now what’s he gotten himself into?” [Action scenes into end of trailer] Look for the finale in May: “Graduation” (if he survives).

But life is one step at a time, and while the second day wasn’t as exciting as the first, it was still only the second day.

Also, speaking of two’s, I made two near-wrong-turns today. First came on the way out of Greensboro when I started to take the exit for Amanda’s house and had to swerve back onto the road. Oops. More coffee today. The second happened on my way home for the night when I almost went to my parents’ house instead of my duplex. Oops again. Some habits are hard to break, huh?

Anyway, I made it through day two and wanted to share one more thing.

Since yesterday was Tuesday (new music day), I decided to write down the main songs I listened to throughout the day. These are songs I heard on my commute and at key points the rest of yesterday. None of it’s NEW exactly, but I wanna start doing this from now on. We’ll call it “Tunesday,” and you’ll get a glimpse into the setlist that made my Tuesday happen.

I’ll try to make it random and leave the iPod on shuffle for the most part, but there will be some songs I wanna play at certain times too.

Here’s the setlist for Tunesday, July 27, 2010:

COMMUTE

Grand Funk Railroad-“Some Kind of Wonderful”

Ben Harper-“Fly One Time”

John Mayer-“Back to You (Live from Cary, NC, 2002)”

Michael Jackson-“Black or White”

Keith Urban-“Somebody Like You”

John Mayer-“Perfectly Lonely”

LUNCH

The Roots-“The Fire”*

The Roots-“The Seed 2.0”

LAST SONG OF THE NIGHT

John Mayer-“Edge of Desire”*

*Selected on purpose

Cool, eh? Relatively random, but of course Mayer makes it in there a few times. Keep an eye on “Tunesday,” though. You might find some good new-old music to get you through your week.

Day three now. Here we go.

Drew.

Steel wool.

I can tighten my pants because the first day of class is under my BELT! Gotta say it feels pretty good. It's only a week of seminars, but it's still SCHOOL, and it's the first I've been back in over two years!

The day started off pretty well, but I couldn't sleep the night before. I had the typical first-day jitters again, you know how it is. Rolled around a lot, and woke up at 5a.m. because I really had to pee. I hate this, because I was getting up at 7, but I only stay in bed if I have under an hour left to sleep. Any longer than that and you'll just roll around more. Or pee your bed.

Anyway, got up, did my pushups, and chugged my coffee. Then I was OFF!

Timed my journey from the door of my house to turning my car off in the Elon parking lot to exactly 30 minutes! Not bad, eh?

Then it was time for my first seminar. There are 16 of about 36 students in these pre-semester seminars, so I got to meet about half of the class. Everyone seemed really cool, but we all know we're in for a long year together.

I took lots of notes today and cranked out my homework as soon as I got home. It was a pretty good day, and while I'm still rusty in the school-routine department, I'm ready to steel-wool it up and hit it like it's my job again...because right now, it is...

Drew.

Beauty in the breakdown.

Went kayaking on a local lake yesterday. It was the hottest day of the year, and we were surrounded by water we couldn’t drink or swim in, but it was beautiful.

Between paddling around and racing Amanda, there were several moments where we’d stop and lay back on the boat to let the wind and current take us around. We wouldn’t talk, but we’d listen.

During these moments, my mind raced around the state of the world and the thought of life. I thought about sitting in the quiet in the middle of this lake when so much was going on everywhere else. I thought about the oil in the Gulf and war and money and how fast everyone tries to move. I closed my eyes and listened to the birds and the zicadas and the paddles. It was so hot I could pretty much hear the heat too, and it was nice.

There really is beauty in the breakdown of things. As crazy as the world is, and as sad as the overall state of things can be, there is ALWAYS something beautiful nearby. You may or may not agree, but I’ve always been a glass half-full type of guy, and it’s definitely something I believe in. My time on the lake yesterday was a nice way to slow down for a while and soak some of that beauty into my head. As few and far between as these moments can be, they tip the scales into making the tough and wasted moments worth putting up with.

John Mayer made a great point in one of his concerts last week. He said that most of the time, we’re living through tough moments and bullshit, but the good times in your life always stand out. Focusing on these good times, you don’t realize how short they really are. “The best night of your life may only last from 10-2,” he said, “but you don’t think about it only lasting four hours. You think about how it was the best night of your life.” He pointed out that these moments become harder to find as you get through certain obstacles, but that embracing them can get you through anything. The guy knows what’s up.

I only spent two hours on the lake, but it was my last free Saturday before school starts. Change is coming, and it’s scary and good, and yesterday was a great way to relax and soak in the beauty before I start running for a while. It was simple, hot, and pretty, and I’ll hold onto it to get me through the tough and the normal…

D.

Third-person profile.

I’m writing a third person profile of myself for the Elon I-Media website. We have to say a little about ourselves and send in a professional-looking picture.

Most of the examples I’ve read so far are pretty full of professional experience and internships. I don’t have any of this. I mean, I’ve got LIFE experience, but nothing for the paper. I can spin this, though. I know I can.

Let’s see:

“Drew Sykes is from Greensboro, NC. He graduated from NC State University in 2008 with a degree in English Creative Writing and a minor in Journalism.”

Ok. Good so far…now what?

“He has not used his degree for anything since college.”

No, no. Have to embellish a little…

“After college he began to work at a restaurant.”

Add a little more color:

“After college he served as a waiter at the prestigious local/organic pizza restaurant, Sticks and Stones, which has been featured in both Food Network and Signature Magazine. He has also half-maintained a blog on the side and been a regional roadie for John Mayer.”

Little more.

“After college he served as a waiter at the prestigious local/organic pizza restaurant, Sticks and Stones, which has been featured in both Food Network and Signature Magazine. There, he was given the spoken award of “Best Waiter in History” by his mother, and was often tipped over fifteen percent. Besides waiting tables, he has had several blog entries self-published through Blogspot, Facebook, and Tumblr, and has gone on tour with John Mayer, paying 1/3 of the artist’s salary through merchandise and ticket sales. Now that he’s returning to school, he looks forward to being an all-star student and dominating every class while juggling social life and writing novels on the side.”

Whew. Not bad, but maybe a little too much. How bout, just, DREW? Here we go:

“Drew Sykes is from Greensboro, NC. He graduated from North Carolina State University in 2008 with a degree in English Creative Writing and a minor in Journalism. After college he volunteered as a ropes instructor in Colorado for the summer and has since worked as a server at a local organic restaurant. Drew is an avid sports and music fan and hopes to work his way into writing and producing content for television and internet media. He loves to absorb and write about everyday life, and his highest goal is to climb the ladder and work as an on-air talent. He’s looking at the iMedia program as a great opportunity to strengthen his skills and jump into the fast-paced media field.”

I like it. Simple. Truthful. ME.

Now I’ve gotta find a picture…

"It's been a long night in {Raleigh}, too..."

Two days removed from Mayer in Raleigh and I’m finally writing.

Two days removed and I’m still TIRED. I’ve always respected the guy for his music and passion to play, but I don’t know how he does it! My legs are shot and I feel like I’ve been on Spring Break in Cancun or something, and all I did was get into the show!

Anyway, he brought it again, and completely ROCKED it again!

Opened with “Vultures” for the second night, and segued into “Clarity” once more, which of course, I didn’t mind. I didn’t film it this time, and listening to him play it 40 feet in front of you is like listening to SUMMER. You can feel the warmth from the horns, you’re relaxed from the strumming of the guitar, and the piano puts you on a higher level of good vibes.

He went into “Why Georgia” full band next, which will ALWAYS take me back to late high school/early college. No matter where I am, whenever I see Mayer live, I concert call my buddy Matt Minnick during this song. Haven’t seen him in almost three years, but “Why Georgia” was the STAPLE of the first semester of our freshman year at NC State. We saw him play there within a week of school starting, and it’s been stuck with us ever since. Minnick, if you ever happen to read this, you’ll be getting a call in about two weeks from the DC show.

Mayer mellowed it out with “Do You Know Me” after this and gave Bob Reynolds another chance to shine. He kept the mood chill with “Who Says” next, getting a roar from the crowd when he said “In my mind I’m stoned in Carolina…” and “It’s been a long night in Cary, too…” (Who doesn’t love when the band or artists calls out your city or state?)

“Perfectly Lonely” turned the summer mood back on, and he followed with “Waiting on the World to Change”.

“Gravity” came next, which again, will always be his heart. He mentioned something about this song being for anyone who was going through anything difficult, and reminded them to keep pushing.

Mayer broke out “Heartbreak Warfare” after this, and had everyone jumping up and down by the end of the song. He brought just as much anger and emotion into this version as the one in Charlotte, so I’m thinking it’ll probably be like this the rest of the tour. Definitely fun.

He threw us another curveball after “HW” and started grooving “I Don’t Trust Myself (With Loving You)” with “The Black One” in hand, and kept the blues going with “Ain’t No Sunshine” once again.

“Half of My Heart” closed the initial set, and after calling people out who don’t like to sing, he had the whole crowd singing along to the song. The amphitheater turned into a giant bar and fans went even crazier when he sang half of Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing” in the middle.

The encore brought John, Robbie McCintosh, and David Ryan Harris back to the stage with their acoustic guitars. From there, they went into a beautiful acoustic version of “Slow Dancing in a Burning Room”. Gotta love how he can play a song like that electric or acoustic and make it sound like two totally different songs. It was awesome.

Petty’s “Free Fallin’” came next, and the whole band came back onstage for “Edge of Desire” to close the night again. This song is definitely going to continue to get more and more powerful as the tour progresses.

Overall, it was a great night. He played a lot of the same songs, but even if he brought out the same set list, it’d be a different show. No matter what, he’s good to play the songs differently every time, which is one of the many reasons I like to go to as many shows again.

Looking forward to keeping track of his shows for the next two weeks, then it’s number three for the summer in Bristow, VA.

Can’t wait…

D.

"It's been a long night in [Charlotte]..."

I was catching up on the John Mayer message board “My Stupid Mouth” the other day and read a post claiming that Mayer recently said he feels rusty the first few shows of every tour. The person quoting him went on to say “I like to think of it as fresh.”

Well, the 2010 John Mayer Summer Tour began in Charlotte, NC last night, and it was EPIC.

Mayer came to the stage with several members of his Winter Tour band as well as a revival of the horn section seen over the last few years, including saxophonist Bob Reynolds. They stepped up to their respective instruments and mics and brought a swagger that was anything but “rusty”.

John kicked the set list off with a little blues groove of “Chest Fever” by The Band that got everybody into rhythm. The fans were swaying and gold guitar in hand, he jammed into “Vultures” to officially start the tour.

From there he swapped to his acoustic, and the bass and keys kicked off the booming intro to “Clarity.” You can tell he loves to play this one in the summer, and it was right at home with the hot night and the return of the horns.

After “Clarity,” he took us way back to “No Such Thing,” and at this point, I had no idea what to expect for the rest of the show. We were three songs in, and he was already continually surprising us.

“Ain’t No Sunshine” came next, with its slow bass line and Mayer making the guitar sing. It was the only full cover he played, and he definitely did the song justice, groovin’ with a gritty blues vibe that fits perfectly into the sticky summer weather.

He picked up the pace after this and completely ROCKED “Heartbreak Warfare,” singing louder and faster than other live versions. His head bobbed, he jumped up and down, and you could really FEEL the frustration and emotion the song sings about coming from the stage. He joked after the song that “that was the ‘punk’ version of ‘Heartbreak Warfare’, folks,” and it was high energy!

From there he went into “Perfectly Lonely,” saying it’s a great song for the summer, even though no one ever REALLY wants to be alone. Then he broke out “The Black One” to play “Gravity” in the middle of the set! Hearing this so early threw even more of a curveball as to guess what he might play the rest of the night, because it’s been more of a late song in the past. Of course, it wouldn’t matter if he opened with this track, because his heart pours out of the guitar every time he plays it. It’s his blues prayer, and we’re the eager congregation listening to and relating to the message. Gotta love it.

After “Gravity” he pulled a 180 and played “Assassin.” It was “killer” (pun intended, thank you), and I love how he fluctuates his song choices from slow and soulful to rocking and loud so well. He definitely knows how to keep everyone on their toes.

“Who Says” came next, where everyone freaked out when he sang “It’s been a long night in Charlotte, too…”

Then he put his guitar down for a UKELELE! Most of the band stepped back as he began to pluck “Do You Know Me.” The lights got dim, the mood turned mellow, and Mayer made the uke sing like a guitar. As the song progressed, the return of Bob Reynolds was truly felt as he and Mayer jammed together in what turned out to be one of the coolest moments of the night.

Mayer picked up the pace again when the song was done and played “Bigger Than My Body,” which always gets people on their feet.

He then went into “Half of my Heart” as the last song before the encore, saying that it felt good to have a big radio hit again. He talked about how before this song hit the charts, he was ready to move on to the next record, but then BOOM, “Half of My Heart.” Mayer explained it like an old race-car video game where just as the car is about to slow down to a stop, you hit a checkpoint and BAM, you’re moving fast again. That’s what this song did for him.

The groove was nice, and he teased us with “Dreams” by Fleetwood Mac, as well as “Carolina on My Mind” by James Taylor, which really got the crowd going.

After this he thanked everyone and went backstage to prepare for the encore. The crowd rocked and clapped and screamed for several minutes, but he was nowhere to be seen.

And then the screams from the lawn burst open. He was on a platform in front of them and began to sing “Stop This Train.” Mayer has always made a point to thank the “lawn people” for their attendance at his shows, but this was something new, and a really cool gesture for the people in the back. You could hear their screams coming through his mic, but he kept playing and it was a really special moment.

“Why Georgia” came next, and the part that he gets the crowd to sing along to was louder than ever because he was swimming in a sea of fans at this point. As he progressed through the song, the rest of the band snuck back on stage, and he made it back to the front.

The crowd was still going crazy and the spotlight shone on Mayer again as he began the riff to “Edge of Desire”. The song picked up and the lights got bright again, and the band joined in for the final song of the evening. The longing and passion of the song poured out from the guitar, and Mayer adamantly thanked the fans as he walked off stage.

It was a great first night in Charlotte, full of energy and passion. While he played several songs from “Battle Studies,” he threw so many others into the mix that it will be tough to guess what he’ll play on any given night. If last night’s show was any indicator of how the tour will go, it’s going to be a great summer.

See you guys in Raleigh, and on the road…

D.

Resistance.

I’m reading a book by Donald Miller called “A Million Miles in a Thousand Years.” It’s been pretty interesting so far, and he always makes great points I like to highlight and underline to save for later.

One that struck me today was actually from a guy named Steven Pressfield that Miller was quoting. In a book on writing that Pressfield wrote, he said “A writer has to sit down every day and write, regardless of how he feels…you can sit around and wait for inspiration to come, but you’ll never finish [anything].”

Pressfield went on to say that every creative person faces resistance when trying to create something good. “Resistance, a kind of feeling that comes against you when you point toward a distant horizon, is a sure sign that you are supposed to do the thing in the first place.”

This hit me today. I got home from the beach a little while ago. It was hard to leave, as it always is, but this time around it felt different. I’d been looking forward to the trip for a long time, and I knew inside that it was the last real vacation I’d have before school starts. That’s where the resistance came into play.

I always take a last walk down to the ocean when I’m about to leave the beach. Looking out today, the ocean was calm, but there was a dark storm to my right, the south. It was chilly out because it’d been raining off and on all morning, but it felt nice. I went down to the water and stuck my feet in, and knelt down to wash my hands and dip my old Auburn hat (which is my version of Indiana Jones’ fedora). It’s a ritual I go through whenever I leave the ocean. I like to stare out and imagine how far it goes. I turn my back to the commercialism of the area and soak it in to store the memory for when I get home. It’s good to think about when things get overwhelming.

Today was a little different. It was beautiful, but I had a weird feeling in my stomach. I knew it was the thought of school coming up so fast. It was this resistance. Resistance to change, or to something new. School will bring both, and I truly am excited, but I’m nervous too.

My mom was on the beach with me and I told her I haven’t been this nervous about something new since I was 18 and starting college. I’ve done a lot since then, but this one seems BIGGER.

But I like what Miller said, via Pressfield. I’m pointing towards a distant horizon, and I know I’ve got a ways to go before I get there. I like thinking that this hesitation-mixed-with-excitement is a sign that this is something I’m definitely supposed to do.

This got me thinking even more on the way home.

There are things in life where the anticipation is greater than the event. This can be a good thing or a bad thing.

With shots, it’s a good thing, because the anticipation of the event is MUCH bigger than the actual needle, and when you close your eyes and grit your teeth to deal with it, the doctor says it’s over before you even feel it.

With holidays like Christmas, it’s kind of a bad thing. As wonderful as Christmas is, the excitement leading up to the day is always SO GREAT that oftentimes the meaning and the event get overlooked. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE Christmas and everything it brings, but it’s always kind of sad the next day when you realize another one has passed.

The resistance I’m feeling about school right now is a combination of both kinds of anticipation. The good kind is there, where I’m nervous about school and taking on the workload, but I know it won’t be nearly as bad as I think it could be. The other kind is there too, where I’m REALLY excited and ready to jump in, knowing I have to embrace it as it comes, because like everything else, it’ll be over before I know it.

I’ve got 11 days of freedom left. I miss the ocean and my family, but I’m ready to enjoy this last bit of time and get the sails ready for the next journey…

D.

Margaritas.

It’s my last night at the beach with my family and I really wanted a margarita. Went to the grocery, bought the mix, and made it happen.

It was frozen and delicious, and I gotta say I thoroughly enjoyed sipping on it as the sun set and the thumbnail moon began to rise.

That being said, it made me think of a conversation I had the other day in which I used and example of something I’ve done before but in a way in which I acted like I’d never done it. I know that makes no sense whatsoever, so here’s a little more explanation before I get into it:

Last fall, I was craving a margarita. It was October-ish, so there were hot nights mixed in with the cool ones. I went to the store and bought the frozen mix and got home ready to blend away, but didn’t think about the tequila aspect of the concoction. When I got back, I realized that the only tequila in the house was some leftover Patron I’d bought to celebrate a birthday a few months back.

I realize that Patron is the high rolling brand. I take pride in drinking it from time to time, when the occasion is right, and I want to feel like John Mayer. Or T.I. I also realize that blending it into a $2 can of margarita mix is a waste, because you could blend gasoline into it and it would taste the same.

This being said, I picked up the little clear bottle, pulled the cork and dumped it into the blender. I REALLY wanted a margarita!

My dad walked into the kitchen as I was doing this and couldn’t believe what I was doing.

“How can you use PATRON in a MARGARITA?!” he said. “That’s such a waste!”

I’d like to say I felt shameful, but I didn’t, and it was delicious. He tells people this story even now, and no one else can believe it either. Oh well.

THIS BEING SAID:

I was talking to my cousin the other day and I used the analogy “That’s like using PATRON in a MARGARITA!” to explain the stupidity of wasting something for no good reason. I knew I was going to use this analogy, and when he laughed and agreed with me, I smiled inside thinking, “HA! I’ve done this, but nobody knows!”

Funny thing is, I do this relatively often. I can’t think of any other concrete examples right now, but this popped in my mind tonight. I feel like we’re all guilty of this from time to time.

You ever do it? Ever say something as a joke that you’re embarrassed about or don’t want everyone to know about that you’ve done and laugh it off like you have NO CLUE of anyone who would actually do something that STUPID? Haha…it’s actually pretty fun, because the people in the conversation think the joke’s on someone else when it’s actually on THEM!

Anyway. I used Jose this time. Salt on the rim and a slice of lime, too. Mmmm.

D.

Creativity Returns...

I start grad school in two weeks. I’ve been out of school for TWO YEARS. Both of these facts seem unbelievable to me.

Never thought I’d go to grad school. I always figured the last time I’d apply to college was when I was 17 and deciding between State and Carolina. Even with a degree fresh off the press and in hand two years ago, I never thought I would apply.

But as time keeps moving, things keep changing.

I’ve had some down time today and I decided to look back over a handful of blogs I wrote in the months before college graduation. I’ve said it before and I’ll probably say it again: I was the same, but I was different.

It was refreshing to read the old material. I was going through a lot of different things at the time, but I had this confident outlook on everything. Something I always focused on at the time was moving FORWARD and picking up new experiences while avoiding the temptation and comfort of falling back to different lows and still points. Since then, this philosophy has become something I try to live by, and it can still be a struggle for me from time to time.

I really do want to write more. I say this all the time, but I really FEEL it now. Until the beach, inspiration to write has been kind of tough for me lately. Don’t know why exactly, except that I see it as working out or playing an instrument: the more you do it, the stronger and better you get.

My grandfather used to joke: “How do you get to Carnegie Hall?”

The answer: “Practice, practice, practice.”

Writing is totally the same way. Instead of moving to a heavier weight or learning a new song, the more you write, the more you can find inspiration from everything around you. Like the Force, it FLOWS (Star Wars nerd in me, sorr-nope not gonna apologize).

Two years ago, I was all OVER it, and I think getting back into the rhythm of school will help me again. Carra keeps saying it’ll give me an opportunity to really USE my creativity again, and the more I think about that, the more excited I get.

A lot has gone down in the two years since school. I worked in CO and I saw John Mayer play 11 times (counting the three shows I’ll see in the next few weeks). I started dating a girl I’ve grown to love and I started really missing my sister because she moved to another state (although we keep in touch pretty well again these days). I’ve been to the weddings of six friends (including one in which I was the Best Man and two in which I’ve been a groomsman) and I’ve set foot in 16 states. I’ve hiked the Rockies, touched two oceans, and sipped tequila in Mexico. I got one more tattoo but I’m ready for another. I’ve taken pics of concerts and sunsets and sunrises and the moon. I worked in an organic pizza restaurant for a great boss and learned more patience from the customers. NC State still struggled in sports and I still love them as much as I did when I was 12.

It’s been a ride, as LIFE always is, and I’m looking forward to this next step. It’s a great opportunity, and I’m thankful to be able to build on what I’ve already learned.

At the least, I’ll be able to look more impressive on paper, haha, and no matter what, I look forward to the return to creativity. It wasn’t gone…I just took a little break…

Two weeks. Whew.

Drew.

Trading riffs.

Went out on the deck today with my guitar and stared at the ocean for a while. I needed some quiet time and just started playing. Didn’t know what I’d play necessarily, just that I wanted to hear the chords and feel the strings and the sounds.

It was cool because the sun was dropping fast behind my back and light looked orange on the sand and the reeds. They rocked back and forth with the wind as I watched the waves roll over the surf.

Things lined up for a while, and I just traded riffs with the ocean.

My mind wandered as I sat, and I thought about school and work and how fast life was moving. I watched a seagull or two fly overhead against the wind, and saw American and South Carolina flags blowing to my right. I looked down at my guitar at one point and thought of a lady in a meeting I used to attend who dealt with her own issues and told me her son played guitar. On my last day with the group she told me to “keep playing that geetar,” and that doing so would help me focus on bigger things. I hope she is at least where I am now in dealing with these things, if not better.

The reeds were crazy-green in the glow of the dusk and the waves kept rolling. Families walked by on the beach to pose for future Christmas cards in their white shirts, and as time kept moving, I kept strumming.

It was clarity, and it was nice, like church bells and wind chimes.

D.

On Watches.

I'm a big fan of watches. Mayer kind of got me into them a few years ago, and now I'm hooked. I only have two right now, because I'm not loaded with money or anything, but I like the ones I have, and I'm always on the lookout for cool new ones. They're also something I always complement people for, whether I'm at work or out on the road somewhere. I like big faceplates and multi-colors and cool bands, and I like being able to look at the analog face on my wrist without opening the LCD screen on my cell phone or turning on my iPod. It's always a comfortable weight on my arm, and I feel naked when I'm not wearing one.

The only time I DON'T wear my watch (on purpose) is at the beach. The superficial reason would be fear of sand in the gears or water damage, but the REAL reason is that there's no point. Am I right? Besides liking watches, I'm a big fan of the concept of TIME in general. It's fluid. It's motion. It never stops, but it's not concrete. It just keeps going.

Wearing a watch is a way to try and measure it, but in reality, it's just an estimate. An estimate that keeps us both comfortable and stressed as we go about our daily lives, depending on what we're going through or where we need to be.

Not wearing one at the beach or while on vacation is kind of liberating. When you've got nothing to do and nowhere to be, it's nice to ignore it for a while. I sleep in here, wake up, hit the sand, chill, and go to bed when I'm tired (which might be pretty soon now). There's never a real schedule and we make it through the days in the most laid back way possible.

Time isn't measured here, but SPENT.

It's spent relaxing. It's spent eating. It's spent feeling the wind and listening to the waves and soaking up the sun. And it's spent hanging out with family.

I'll definitely put my watch on again when I leave here, covering the darker shade of skin I'll acquire on my wrist, because I'll need it when I go. But for now, I'll leave it on the dresser and measure time by counting waves and building sand castles...

D.

Day trippin'.

Went to Chapel Hill for a lil day trip yesterday. REALLY wanted to go to the Planetarium with Amanda because we both had the day off and it was kinda gloomy, but we got there and they weren't having any shows. I looked at the hours online and saw that they were open, but my genius brain didn't think to look at the SHOW schedule.

Even though we didn't get to sit back and stare at the [fake but awesome] stars, we appreciated having a little getaway for the afternoon.

Franklin Street was quiet because the students are out of town and the summer camps and sessions haven't started yet. We walked around for a while and went in a few shops along the way and just ENJOYED the day. It was nice doing what we wanted without worrying about agendas or having to be anywhere. (Think "Nothin' to do/Nowhere to be/A simple little kind of free...) It was a cool day around a quiet campus and it was relaxing.

We made it back to my car after a few hours of roaming and decided to head to Raleigh. The city has been calling my name for a while because I haven't been in months, and I have to get my fix of nostalgia from the place every now and then. Since we were SO close, I offered to take Amanda to Pullen Park, which I figured would be a great area to have a romantic little walk. There's a cool duck pond there, some nice trails, paddle boats, and a train, and I've been wanting to take her there for a while. Seemed like the perfect opportunity. And then I drove by it on Western Blvd. Just like the Planetarium, it was CLOSED! And not only closed for the day, but until SUMMER 2011! The ponds were drained and they're renovating the whole park! I was bummed because I was 0-2 on the day in attractions AND because we wouldn't be able to go there until NEXT YEAR.

But ah well, right? Bottom line is that we were out of town together and having fun...and right down the street from the Village Draft House, one of my favorite restaurants in town and one that has special meaning to me in that I used to go every first night of every semester in school.

And did I mention it's also home to THE greatest fried pickle chips in the world? If you didn't know, you know now. These things would make Atheists believe in a Higher Power. Not lying. Ship a few boxes over to the leaders of Al Qaeda and they'll quit burning our flag and start flying it over their caves. If you've never been and if you're ever passing through Raleigh, stop by and at least get some to go, because they're unreal.

Whew, done with the pickle spiel, but anyway, we had a nice early dinner on the patio of the Draft House and soaked in a little evening sun before we hit the road back to Greensboro. I love taking Amanda to the area any chance I get, and I loved being there, even just for a meal. I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to call anybody while we were there, but it was such a short trip that it would've made it even harder to leave. So if any of my Raleigh people read this (Phil Jones), I'm sorry. I will get down there and kick it with y'all soon.

I drove us down Hillsborough Street after dinner as we left town and admired my school in the late sunlight. It was a little more hectic than Franklin St because of all the construction, but it was and always will be beautiful in my eyes. The smells and sounds and paths at NC State will always bring me the mixed emotions of happy memories and the bittersweet feeling of moving on in life, which I'm sure will increase as my time away increases from the two years I'm sitting on right now.

Once we passed State, I stopped at a gas station for some drinks for the ride home. The old guy working there was asked me how I was doing and I said "Good", hesitated, and said, "but kinda sad. I used to live here and I'm just passing through this evening. I miss it."

He asked me, "How long did you live here?"

"Five years," I said.

He smiled and said, "That's not THAT long."

I laughed and said, "Yeah, you're right, you're right, I guess it's not."

I paid for my drinks and got back in the car with a smile on because he was right. In the scheme of LIFE, 5 years can seem like forever, but it's not. Raleigh gave me 5 amazing years, and I'll always love it, but that's only a fifth of my now 25-year-old and growing self. I'm climbing new steps and sharing it with others and moving FORWARD. It's pretty cool.

After this, the drive back was easy. Interstate 40 West to Greensboro is always a good drive, but these days it's better when I have Amanda with me. It's a part of my life I'll always want to share, and it'll always be there whenever I want to go back.

D.

"Sprummer" Song Flashback v.2:2005.

"Sprummer" song number two takes us back to the spring semester of 2005 at NC State. The choice, which will be obvious to some of my friends: "Hate it or Love it" by The Game ft. 50 Cent.



THIS song got played multiple times a day, whether we were just chillin' or getting ready to go out, or already out. The beat is cool and it feels like summer, and the lyrics "Hate it or love it, the underdog's on top/and I'm gonna shine, homey, until my heart stop" grabbed our attention because they were catchy, and for some odd reason, we felt like we could relate to them, being the 20-year-old party-searching college kids that we were. We were at the end of our second year of school, and NOTHING was gonna hold us back from being on top and in the spotlight.

Hearing this one IMMEDIATELY takes me back to spontaneous parties at Uhouse and cookouts and getting ready for Buffett at Phi Tau. It was probably my least productive but most fun semester at school. My priorities were kinda mixed, but I learned a lot in the non-school categories of life in those months.

We'd make it to Thursdays and the weekend would begin, and there was ALWAYS something going on. If we couldn't find anything, we'd make it happen ourselves, usually at Uhouse, which often ended with calls to PizzAmerica, trips down (or sitting on) Tryon, and even one time with a certain "mace incident" that turned out pretttttty crazy. Whether you were a friend or a stranger, there was always a couch or a floor to crash on in time to sleep in for whatever happened next.

Nights that didn't end up at Uhouse brought us to Phi Tau, where by this time of the year we were STRONGLY gearing up and getting hype for our annual Buffett party. The hot days lead to cool nights of bamboo harvesting for the fence we built around the back deck, and closer to party day, we covered the whole downstairs with sand. Our house became a beach in Raleigh, and when the big night came, we had a line of people stretching down the block waiting to get inside. I'll never forget weaving the bamboo through the fence, or watching brothers direct traffic and stop Wolfline busses in front of the house. The band was also killer, and we were definitely on top that night, celebrating what turned out to be our last Buffett party, because we haven't had one since.

It's CRAZY hard to believe all of this was FIVE years ago, but anytime I hear this song, I think about all the fun we had that semester. I can't take 50 Cent seriously at all anymore, and I don't like his new stuff, but I still rock out to this one with the windows down, especially at sunset in these beautiful "sprummer" evenings...

Drew.

PS: Thanks to Ryan Daniels for playing this song into the ground.