The new Drew turned two today, and it’s insanely hard for me to believe that. Looking back at where I was compared to where I am now, it really is like a second life. I was never on any crazy downward spiral, but I wasn’t going up in any way either. It was more of a downward roll I guess, gradual and set to end badly eventually, but all that changed.
Something or someone was looking out for me that night. Thinking about what went down, along with seeing how things have panned out since then, I have no doubt about that, and it’s been a ride. Through all of that, I really feel like I’m here for a reason. The question is, have I already accomplished what I’m supposed to have done since then, or is it still on my horizon? Could it be both? Have I done something I wouldn’t have done if I hadn’t gone through everything then? Yeah…I know that part is true, on a lot of levels, and I like to think that the answer is both. Most of what, if not everything I do from here on out will reflect back to that moment of starting over and waking up with a new outlook on how to live.
Rebuilding isn’t and hasn’t been an easy task. Look at sports teams going through rough seasons. Coaches call these “rebuilding years”, and fans groan at the term. When something breaks or shatters, it can be put back together, but it won’t ever be exactly the same as it was before. It’s there, but the pieces won’t line up the same way.
The last two years have been a continuous rebuilding process for me. Oh, I’m here. I’m together. But I’m not the same. In this rebuilding I’ve gone through the usual ups and downs of life, and honestly, I’m still searching for that perfect balance. It’s there, but sometimes it’s hard to see. I can definitely see it better now than I could before.
In the two years I’m talking about, I’ve gone from having a constant back-burner burden on my shoulders to being scared of letting something control me to having that burden disappear to fighting the pull of the old temptations and resisting the old me to the best of my abilities. I’ve also accomplished more in this time than I really had in the three years before everything happened. I got my life together for the most part, I finished school, I have a DEGREE, and I’m looking forward to whatever I’ll get into in the coming months and years.
I wrote this quote two years ago today, and I wanted to bring it back up:
“…you never know what can happen tomorrow, and if you're EVER given a second chance at anything, be thankful, and remember that things in life could always be worse…
…Do something for me. Always keep your head up and don't ever leave anything unsettled. If you really think about it, most of what brings you down in life won't even bother you a year from now…”
Reading it again, I feel pretty good about what I said, and how I’ve lived since I wrote it. I’ll never forget how I felt at that moment, but I’ll always be thankful for it. That quote still stands out for me today, and it’s how I want to live and think the rest of my life.
Here’s another one I’ve shared before that I wanted to throw out there again:
“Simple happiness is at a premium…and I can’t think of anything more valuable I want to own right now…” - JM
This can’t be more true, and even with the way things in this world are going in these times, I feel like it is something I own today. I still don’t know what I’m going to do with my life in the long-term, but I know that right here and right now, I’m happy. With everything I’ve learned in the last two years, that’s all that matters.
Remember that the life behind you is done. It’ll make you who you are today for the better and for the worse, but it’s DONE. I’m not saying to forget about the past, because it’s crazy important to think about how you’ve become who you are now. What I’m saying is to take what you’ve got today and run with it. Use the things you’ve gone through in the past to make yourself who you want to be and who you know you CAN be, because once you do this, I PROMISE that everything in life will be a little bit sweeter.
You can hold me to that.
Drew.
1 comment:
We are very proud of Drew the 23 year old and Drew the 2 year old. 2Life anniversaries are going to be there and that's not a bad thing. It's a precious thing.
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